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  3. 學習啦>語文學習>民俗文化>順口溜>《有關非常搞笑順口溜有哪些》正文

    有關非常搞笑順口溜有哪些

    時間:2017-09-19 13:36:20本文內容及圖片來源于讀者投稿,如有侵權請聯系xuexila888@qq.com 適佳 我要投稿

      搞笑順口溜能讓聽到的人感受到你的幽默與風趣,搞笑的順口溜更能為你的生活帶來很大樂趣。學習啦小編這里為大家整理了一些搞笑的順口溜,希望大家喜歡。

      非常搞笑順口溜

      1) 今天你醒來,枕邊躺著一只蚊子,身邊有一封遺書:我奮斗了一晚,你的臉皮厚得讓我無顏活在這世上!主啊寬恕他吧!我是自殺的。

      2) 今天有人看見你了,你還是那樣迷人,穿著格子背心,慢悠悠地走著,一副超然自在的樣子,實在是可愛極了,真不知你當年是怎么賽過兔子的?

      3) 一年內,有一個男子連續寫了多封情書給女友,結果他的女友終于宣布要結婚了,新郎就是給她送這些信的郵差。

      4) 理發師邊幫客人修臉邊聊天,聊得正起勁不注意把客人眉毛剃去一邊。理發師問:您的眉毛是否要留?客人:要留!理發師:唉呀!怎么不早說,已經剃去一邊了!

      5) 丈夫:親愛的,我被開除了。就因為一點小事,太不公平了!妻子:為什么?丈夫:我昨晚下班忘了關老虎籠子?伤麄円膊幌胂,誰敢偷老虎

      6) 有些事情該讓你知道了!天,是用來刮風下雨地;地,是用來長花長草地;我,是用來證明人類偉大地;而你:“就是用來燉粉條地!”

      7) 你以后不要再喝醉了,昨天又有人看到你端著個酒杯追著一頭豬,嘴里還大叫:“是不是兄弟?是兄弟的干了!!”

      8) 我是一棵孤獨的樹,千百年來矗立在路旁,寂寞的等待,只為有一天當你從我身邊走過時,為你傾倒,砸不扁你就算白活了。

      9) 如果秋天走了,我會在雪地里等你;如果世界走了,我會在天堂里愛你;如果我走了,會讓她來照顧你。真的,她的養豬技術不賴!

      10) 數九寒天冷嗖嗖,轉年春打六九頭,正月十五是龍燈會,有一對獅子滾繡球。

      經典搞笑順口溜

      1) 三月三王母娘娘蟠桃會,大鬧天宮孫猴又把那個仙桃偷。 是雞皮補皮褲,不是雞皮不必補皮褲。

      2) 我家有個肥凈白凈八斤雞,飛到張家后院里。

      3) 張家院有個肥凈白凈八斤狗,咬了我的肥凈白凈八斤雞。

      4) 我拿他的肥凈白凈八斤狗賠了我的肥凈白凈八斤雞。

      5) 打南邊來個瘸子,擔了一挑子茄子,手里拿著個碟子,地下釘著木頭橛子。

      6) 沒留神那橛子絆倒了瘸子,弄撒了瘸子茄子,砸了瘸子碟子,瘸子毛腰拾茄子。

      7) 北邊來個醉老爺子,腰里掖著煙袋別子,過來要買瘸子茄子,瘸子不賣給醉老爺子茄子,老爺子一生氣搶了瘸子茄子,瘸子毛腰撿茄子拾碟子,拔橛子,追老爺子,老爺子一生氣,不給瘸子茄子,拿起煙袋別子,也不知老爺子的煙袋別子打了瘸子茄子,也不知瘸子橛子打了老爺子煙袋別子。

      8) 閑來沒事出城西,樹木榔林數不齊,一二三四五六七,七六五四三二一,六城四,三二一,五四三二一,四三二一三二一,二一一,一個一,數了半天一棵樹,一棵樹長了七個枝,七個枝結了七樣果,結的是檳子、橙子、桔子、柿子、李子、栗子、梨!”

      9) 羅成白,敬德黑,張飛胡子一大堆。

      10) 月亮圓圓在天邊,眼鏡圓圓在眼前,燒餅圓圓長街賣,車轱轆圓圓道兩邊。

      11) 芝麻開花節節高,棉花開花毛著腰,藤子開花無人見,玉米開花一嘴毛。

      12) 喜鵲穿青又穿白,烏鴉穿出皂靴來,野雞身披十樣錦,鶚麗兒身披麻布口袋。

      13) 一道黑,兩道黑,三四五六七道黑,八九道黑十道黑。

      14) 買個煙袋烏木桿兒,抓住兩頭一道黑。

      15) 二姐描眉去打鬢,照著個鏡子兩道黑。

      16) 粉皮墻寫川字兒,橫瞧豎瞧三道黑。

      17) 象牙的桌子烏木的腿兒,放在炕上四道黑。

      18) 買個小雞不下蛋,圈在籠里捂到(五道)黑。

      19) 挺好的騾子不吃草,拉到街上遛到(六道)黑。

      20) 買了個小驢不拉磨,鞴上鞍韂騎(七)到(道)黑。

      21) 姐倆南洼去割麥,丟了鐮刀拔到(八道)黑。

      22) 月窠兒孩子得了瘋病,盡點兒艾子灸到(九道)黑。

      23) 賣瓜籽的沒注意,刷拉撒了一大堆,條帚簸箕不湊手,一個一個拾到(十道)黑。

      24) 正月里,正月正,姐妹二人去逛燈,大姐名叫粉紅女,二姐名叫女粉紅。

      25) 粉紅女身穿一件粉紅襖,女粉紅身穿一件襖粉紅。粉紅女懷抱一瓶粉紅酒,女粉紅懷抱一瓶酒粉紅。

      26) 姐妹找了個無人處,推杯換盞飲劉伶。

      超搞笑順口溜

      1.如果我是狐貍你是獵人,你會追我嗎?如果我是茶葉你是開水,你會泡我嗎?如果我是汽車你是司機,你會駕我嗎?如果你是錢我是存折,我一定會取你的。

      2.獨坐相思椅,手握相思筆,望著相思月,想著相思的你,寫著相思信,句句相思語,滴滴相思淚。想的就是你!

      3.女人的怕:一怕年紀大二怕腰圍大,三怕沒有零花錢,四怕衣服老掉牙,五怕孩子泡吧不回家,最后一怕--老公心太花。

      4.你是鋼筆我把你插在口袋里,你是含片我把你放在嘴里,你是內衣我把你貼在身上,你是我的汗毛,我半年沒敢洗澡,怕燙著你。

      5.破鍋自有破鍋蓋,丑鬼自有丑女愛,只要情深意似海,麻子也能放光彩。

      6.上帝給我一雙腳,教我如何屹立不倒,可我只學會了--逃跑;上帝給我挺拔的腰,教我如何百折不撓,可我只學會了--招搖!

      7.你是風兒我是沙,我是葉兒你是花,你乖別人都在夸,沒你我會去酒吧,憂傷一醉地上爬,想你念你天也塌,酒醉過后大街趴,警察叔叔送回家!

      8.網絡都是欺騙人!網友網友,網得一無所有!網戀網戀,網得總是失戀!網吧網吧,網得一身傷疤!網絡網絡,網得心碎墮落!

      9.大學四年——大一:大學路還是平坦的,心順;大二:大學還是要四年念完的,心煩;大三:大學還是沒念完的,心急;大四:大學還是在苦念的,心碎!

      10.花樣小酒天天有,整完白酒整啤酒;強中自有強中手,不全撂倒誓不走;酒過三巡情飛揚,誰也不扶就扶墻;酣然一夢似斷腸,醒來一看是茅房!

      11.匆忙乘坐飛機到美國只為吃個漢堡;出門碰見星探非說我是最佳男主角,這些美事咋能碰上呢?做夢唄!

      12.學生分類,留級復讀的學生叫:留學生;家里有錢的學生叫:高才生;上課打瞌睡的學生叫:特困生。

      13.瞪眼是脾氣,挨揍是目的,別看我胳膊細,富有爆發力,你若不相信,那就來試試!

      14.破鍋自有破鍋蓋,丑鬼自有丑女愛,只要情深意似海,麻子也能放光彩。

      15.昨夜偷偷地想你,夢里盡是咸澀的淚水,一覺醒來,夢里模糊我視線的竟是一枕頭的口水。

      16.夢中得道,鳥槍換炮。原本三腳貓,添了老虎腰。走起路來虎彪彪,豪氣沖云霄。醒來一瞧真糟糕,老虎變草包。

      17.初戀的味道:酸奶,甜而酸;熱戀的味道:酒,容易喝暈;結婚的味道:茶,不換的話,越泡越淡越無味;離婚的味道:咖啡,苦但使人清醒。

      18.一瘦一胖兩女人相遇。瘦女人說:“如果我像你這樣胖,早上吊了。”胖女人說:“我上吊的時候,一定拿你作繩子。”

      19.所謂的“指腹為婚”就是…指著女朋友的肚子對爸媽說:“爸、媽,我們要結婚了!”


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