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  3. 學習啦>語文學習>民俗文化>順口溜>《惡搞群主的順口溜》正文

    惡搞群主的順口溜

    時間:2015-10-13 00:03:07本文內容及圖片來源于讀者投稿,如有侵權請聯系xuexila888@qq.com 適佳 我要投稿

      這種語言現象,老百姓一般喚作“順口溜”。順口溜源于生活,最常見的是賣貨小販使用,物品賣的好壞和順口溜編的好不好有很大的關系。順口溜使用得當甚至可以達到貨賣清場的目的。學習啦小編這里為大家整理了一些常見的順口溜,希望大家喜歡。

      順口溜大全:

      1) 如果秋天走了,我會在雪地里等你;如果世界走了,我會在天堂里愛你;如果我走了,會讓她來照顧你。真的,她的養豬技術不賴!

      2) 數九寒天冷嗖嗖,轉年春打六九頭,正月十五是龍燈會,有一對獅子滾繡球。

      3) 三月三王母娘娘蟠桃會,大鬧天宮孫猴又把那個仙桃偷。 是雞皮補皮褲,不是雞皮不必補皮褲。

      4) 我家有個肥凈白凈八斤雞,飛到張家后院里。

      5) 張家院有個肥凈白凈八斤狗,咬了我的肥凈白凈八斤雞。

      6) 我拿他的肥凈白凈八斤狗賠了我的肥凈白凈八斤雞。

      7) 打南邊來個瘸子,擔了一挑子茄子,手里拿著個碟子,地下釘著木頭橛子。

      8) 沒留神那橛子絆倒了瘸子,弄撒了瘸子茄子,砸了瘸子碟子,瘸子毛腰拾茄子。

      9) 北邊來個醉老爺子,腰里掖著煙袋別子,過來要買瘸子茄子,瘸子不賣給醉老爺子茄子,老爺子一生氣搶了瘸子茄子,瘸子毛腰撿茄子拾碟子,拔橛子,追老爺子,老爺子一生氣,不給瘸子茄子,拿起煙袋別子,也不知老爺子的煙袋別子打了瘸子茄子,也不知瘸子橛子打了老爺子煙袋別子。

      10) 鳥隨鸞鳳飛騰遠,人伴賢良品質高。意思是說,群主和什么樣的人在一起,就會變成什么樣子。我現在終于知道群主為什么這么喜歡,猩猩了!

      11) 某人騎車,忽聽一路人狂吼:gogogo!心想,我也會唱:“噢來噢來噢……”,話音未落就一頭栽進溝里。路人說道:告訴群主溝溝溝群主還騎?摔進去了吧!

      12) 一天一只螳螂對著一只螞蟻炫耀說:群主看我有兩把刀多么帥氣。螞蟻正要說話,這時過來一只雞一口就吃掉了螳螂,螞蟻見到,搖搖頭說:不知道現在正嚴打嗎?還敢拿著個刀在街上亂跑。

      13) 陽光明媚,微風輕輕吹,楊柳多情地搖動著枝條,桃花吐著迷人的芳香,小溪在唱著歡快的歌兒,好一幅春天的畫卷,我想說的是…好好工作,老板來啦!

      14) 個三歲的小男孩拉著一個三歲的小女孩的手說:“我愛群主。”小女孩說:“群主能為我的未來負責嗎?”小男孩:“當然能!我們都不是一兩歲的人了!”

      15) 龜和蛇去看電影,只有一張票,龜讓蛇纏在脖上,入園時,檢票員說:站住。龜蛇慌張,檢票員諷刺說:看群主那龜樣,還打領帶呢!

      16) 懸賞令:捉拿微笑,捉住一個獎群主一生快樂,捉住十個獎群主一世幸福,捉住一百個獎群主永遠順利平安,捉住越多獎勵越多,快快行動,先笑先得!

      17) 專愛打聽別人事的人是誰?答案:記者。誰工作時整天添油加醋?答案:廚師。參加小提琴考級(打一動物)答案:考拉,考的就是拉嘛。

      18) 月底如果還有話費用不掉,就請跟我念這個繞口令;一級難度:發廢話揮話費,二級難度:話費會揮發,三級難度:發揮廢話揮發話費!

      19) 藥劑師配好藥交給老王:大的一天吃兩片,小的一天吃一片。老王回到家把大兒子小兒子都叫來分藥,一邊自語道:真沒見過,大人看病,小孩吃藥。

      20) 白云飄過,那是我想群主的痕跡;陽光閃耀,那是我想群主的感覺;雨水落下,那是我想群主的證據;雷電交加,那是我向天祈求群主被劈中……哈……哈……

      21) 群主不是風兒,我也不是沙,再纏綿也到不了天涯;群主不是香煙,我不是火柴,再摩擦也出不了火花;群主不是時間,我也不是歲月,再蹉跎也到不了天邊。

      22) 爸爸周日買了碗牛肉拉面帶回家給貝貝吃,貝貝周一向莉莉炫耀拉面好吃,莉莉問:群主知道牛肉拉面是怎樣做出來的?貝貝想了想說:可能是牛拉出來的吧?

      23) 世博會上,一個愛湊熱鬧的人排了近五個小時的隊,好不容易擠到入口了,忍不住問前面的人:這是哪個國家館?只聽前面的人回答:WC!

      24) 女孩另結新歡,男孩與女孩爭吵:女孩:群主懂什么啊,人家是海歸,剛從美國回來的。男孩:有什么了不起的,我也是海歸,昨天從上;貋淼!

      25) 語文課上,老師提問問題:“小明,群主用‘要么……要么’造一個句!”小明想了想,很自豪的大聲喊道:“賣冰棒啦!要么?要么?”。全班師生暈倒。

      26) 沒有群主,急眼;有了群主,心煩;天天看著群主,我徹夜難眠!群主不是我渴望的那種心愿,哎,生活真難,我該怎樣處置群主——假錢!

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