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  3. 學習啦>語文學習>民俗文化>順口溜>《惡搞QQ群主的順口溜》正文

    惡搞QQ群主的順口溜

    時間:2017-09-09 15:21:02本文內容及圖片來源于讀者投稿,如有侵權請聯系xuexila888@qq.com 適佳 我要投稿

      惡搞群主是一種樂趣,無聊時就用一些順口溜來惡搞也是一種活躍氣氛的方法。學習啦小編這里為大家整理了一些常見的順口溜,希望大家喜歡。

      惡搞QQ群主的順口溜

      1) 龜和蛇去看電影,只有一張票,龜讓蛇纏在脖上,入園時,檢票員說:站住。龜蛇慌張,檢票員諷刺說:看群主那龜樣,還打領帶呢!

      2) 懸賞令:捉拿微笑,捉住一個獎群主一生快樂,捉住十個獎群主一世幸福,捉住一百個獎群主永遠順利平安,捉住越多獎勵越多,快快行動,先笑先得!

      3) 專愛打聽別人事的人是誰?答案:記者。誰工作時整天添油加醋?答案:廚師。參加小提琴考級(打一動物)答案:考拉,考的就是拉嘛。

      4) 收到我的短信,群主將從妻管嚴的深淵里拯救出來,老婆要群主穿的花花綠綠,群主可以就穿襯衫,男人,簡單就好,要群主跪搓衣板群主也可以不跪了,我的地盤我做主。

      5) 記者采訪一位百歲老人,問到:您老作為一位百歲老人,請問您現在感到最高興的事情是什么?老人想了想說:沒有同齡人帶來的就業壓力!

      6) 當我累了,我可以依偎在群主的懷里;受傷害了,可以趴在群主的肩頭哭泣。從我出生的那一刻,我就深深地愛上了群主,再也不能和群主分離,啊,我親愛的床!

      7) 秋風打著旋在九月九的天空盤旋,群主搖晃著腦袋在九月九的涼爽下看著天。雨絲密密的下著。我就站在群主身后竊笑著。還看啥?快把群主的祝福給我。笨蛋!

      8) 認識群主至今,群主在我心中的地位,群主應該很清楚,除了群主之外,其他人在我眼中根本是一堆屎,可是群主不一樣,因為群主……是兩堆。

      9) 我很佩服群主的執著,明知道我不喜歡群主,群主還是不放棄追求我,昨晚群主又對我唱歌還偷吻我,面對群主這樣的厚愛,我只能說:我發誓,我恨群主一萬年!死蚊子!

      10) 說時遲,那時快,只見我拇指一動,一條短信以超越小李飛刀一萬倍的速度飛向群主的手機,呈現在群主的面前,群主立刻多云轉晴,滿面笑容!

      惡搞群主的搞笑順口溜

      1) 說愛群主一萬年,太夸張不真實,但愛群主一輩子是我今生的追求;和群主相守到地老天荒,太奢侈不敢想,但和群主相守到老是我的愿望,我愛群主,人民幣!

      2) 聽說群主發財了,還還了所有的外債,那么在小學時候借我的半塊橡皮也該還我了吧,加上這么多年的利息群主應該還我個輪胎。

      3) 據美國麻省理工大研究發現,打手機前把手機在水中泡分鐘,可完全避免電磁波對人體大腦的輻射,切記!

      4) 川流不息的人游蕩在街頭,誰能聽見誰的寂寞。找一個人惺惺相惜,找一顆心心心相印,在這個宇宙群主是獨一無二,沒人能取代,沒有群主世界將變黑暗,路燈!

      5) 群主的優點沒法數,會唱歌還懂跳舞,生活優越很富足,又高又帥無數少女被群主的魅力迷住,令人拍案叫絕的是,二十出頭,至今群主還會…尿褲。

      6) 胖媽辦會員卡時,說:我現在歲零幾個月了……工作人員看了看,懷疑的說:零幾個月了?胖媽糾結了半天,說:零個月了……

      7) 第一眼看到群主,我就喜歡上了群主!群主也注意到了我,群主燦爛地笑著,還不停地向我招手,我忍不住緊緊地一把抱住群主!啊,可愛的招財貓!

      8) 小劉買了一只鸚鵡,為了能讓這只鸚鵡學舌,他對鸚鵡不斷地重復:喂……喂……喂……鸚鵡有點不耐煩了,它睜開惺忪的眼睛問道:怎么了?電話老占線?

      9) 群主有一顆善良的心,群主會大公無私地幫助這個世界上每一個需要幫助的人,大家都說群主是天上降臨人間專門幫助別人的天使,可惜的是,臉先著地了!

      10) 螢火蟲在黑夜里那叫一個閃亮,鶴立雞群那叫顯眼,馬在驢中那叫出眾,豬八戒在豬圈那叫俊俏,群主和猩猩站在一起那叫…帥了個呆的!

      11) 秋風打著旋在九月九的天空盤旋,群主搖晃著腦袋在九月九的涼爽下看著天。雨絲密密的下著。我就站在群主身后竊笑著。還看啥?快把群主的祝福給我。笨蛋!

      12) 若我有一顆糖,我會送給群主,因為我想群主快樂;若我有兩顆糖,我們就一人一顆,我想我們一起快樂;若我有三顆糖,我會送群主兩顆,因為我希望群主蛀牙比我多!

      13) 我給群主發短信是有一件刻不容緩,迫不及待,火燒眉毛,迫在眉睫,十萬火急,非常非常重要的事情要向群主問個明白:為什么這么久不聯系我!

      14) 小紅:長大了,我當醫生,為同胞解除病痛!小明:長大了,我當法官,為同胞懲惡揚善。老師問小寶:群主呢?小寶想想說:我要當同胞!

      15) 胖媽辦會員卡時,說:我現在歲零幾個月了……工作人員看了看,懷疑的說:零幾個月了?胖媽糾結了半天,說:零個月了……

      罵qq群主的順口溜

      1、你才非主流!你全家非主流!你媽黒襪子!你爸錫紙頭!

      2、從前有個人,偷我花生仁,我剛想拿槍打,一看是我兒,我兒臉皮厚,三槍打不透。

      3、哥倆小,哥倆好,哥倆湊錢買冰糕,你吃冰糕我吃棍兒,你拉粑粑我聞味兒。

      4、你帥你帥,頭頂一窩白菜,要吃一根海帶。

      5、一人認為芥末是甜的,品之,淚如泉涌,道:思吾父二十年前自縊而亡。友人亦將芥末入口,涕淚交流,曰:汝何不隨父自縊?

      6、有些人就是這樣,自己是蛆就覺得全世界是一個大糞池。

      7、整天滿身的劣質香水味還往男人身邊湊,誰多看你一眼了嗎?

      8、拉大鋸,扯大鋸,姥姥家唱大戲,就是不帶你丫去!

      9、一分二分我經常得,三分四分我阿彌駝佛,五分六分我一年得一次,一百分我從來沒得過。

      10、你的頭,像皮球,一踢踢到百貨大樓,百貨大樓,有風扇,一扇扇到火車站,火車站,有火車,給你軋個稀巴爛!

      11、天馬流星拳,放屁帶連環。星星鎖鏈,褲襠開線。

      12、你打我,我不怕,我去北京找我爸,我爸拿著機關槍,照你屁股打三槍!

      13、白癡可以當你的老師,智障都可以教你說人話。

      14、牛逼不是吹的,泰山不是堆的,火車不是推得。

      15、日照香爐生紫煙,遙看羊肉串掛前川,哈喇子留下三千尺,一摸口袋沒帶錢。

      16、相貌要帥的,年紀要輕的,本事要大的,家里要闊氣的,這樣的男人是沒有的。

      17、愛情都是男人玩女人多,各位兄弟,別三思啊!

      18、春天都過了,你還在發春做什么,原來發春不分季節的啊。

      19、你長得就是有特點,后面看想犯罪側面看想倒退正面看想自衛。

      20、老婆是煩人的,情人是溫柔的,男人是吃著碗里看著鍋里的。

      21、老婆是愛我的,母親是疼我的,婆媳吵架兒子夾在中間是兩難的。

      22、歌是要唱的,舞是要跳的,禮物是要買的,夫妻浪漫一點是有必要的。

      23、巴士上一站著的懷孕婦人對著他身旁坐著的一位男子說:你不知道我懷孕了嗎?只見男子很緊張的說:孩子不是我的!

      24、全國人民你最牛,騎著板凳上月球;天下屬你最能吹,喝酒用缸不用杯;從古到今你最能,出門逛街嚇死人;你說這些不算啥,諾貝爾獎等你拿!

      25、你罵我,我不怕,我去北京找我爸,我爸有個大喇叭,吹你一臉大粑粑。


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