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  3. 學習啦>語文學習>民俗文化>順口溜>《關于惡搞群主的順口溜_惡搞群主打油詩》正文

    關于惡搞群主的順口溜_惡搞群主打油詩

    時間:2017-09-08 09:04:43本文內容及圖片來源于讀者投稿,如有侵權請聯系xuexila888@qq.com 適佳 我要投稿

      群主,做為群的主人,群主擁有群內的最高權限,掌管著群內生殺予奪的權力,學習啦小編這里為大家整理了一些惡搞群主的順口溜,希望大家喜歡。

      惡搞群主的順口溜

      1.鳥隨鸞鳳飛騰遠,人伴賢良品質高。意思是說,群主和什么樣的人在一起,就會變成什么樣子。我現在終于知道群主為什么這么喜歡,猩猩了!

      2.某人騎車,忽聽一路人狂吼:gogogo!心想,我也會唱:“噢來噢來噢……”,話音未落就一頭栽進溝里。路人說道:告訴群主溝溝溝群主還騎?摔進去了吧!

      3.一天一只螳螂對著一只螞蟻炫耀說:群主看我有兩把刀多么帥氣。螞蟻正要說話,這時過來一只雞一口就吃掉了螳螂,螞蟻見到,搖搖頭說:不知道現在正嚴打嗎?還敢拿著個刀在街上亂跑。

      4.陽光明媚,微風輕輕吹,楊柳多情地搖動著枝條,桃花吐著迷人的芳香,小溪在唱著歡快的歌兒,好一幅春天的畫卷,我想說的是…好好工作,老板來啦!

      5.個三歲的小男孩拉著一個三歲的小女孩的手說:“我愛群主。”小女孩說:“群主能為我的未來負責嗎?”小男孩:“當然能!我們都不是一兩歲的人了!”

      6.龜和蛇去看電影,只有一張票,龜讓蛇纏在脖上,入園時,檢票員說:站住。龜蛇慌張,檢票員諷刺說:看群主那龜樣,還打領帶呢!

      7.懸賞令:捉拿微笑,捉住一個獎群主一生快樂,捉住十個獎群主一世幸福,捉住一百個獎群主永遠順利平安,捉住越多獎勵越多,快快行動,先笑先得!

      8.專愛打聽別人事的人是誰?答案:記者。誰工作時整天添油加醋?答案:廚師。參加小提琴考級(打一動物)答案:考拉,考的就是拉嘛。

      9.月底如果還有話費用不掉,就請跟我念這個繞口令;一級難度:發廢話揮話費,二級難度:話費會揮發,三級難度:發揮廢話揮發話費!

      10.藥劑師配好藥交給老王:大的一天吃兩片,小的一天吃一片。老王回到家把大兒子小兒子都叫來分藥,一邊自語道:真沒見過,大人看病,小孩吃藥。

      惡搞群主的順口溜精選

      1.天空是那么高遠,陽光是那么明媚,大海是那么蔚藍,沙灘是那么柔軟,這是誰突然大煞風景,請別在這裸奔,又不是天體浴場!看什么看,說群主呢,看短信的。

      2.尋人啟示:一身破爛,二目無神;三餐未進,四肢乏力;五音不全,六神無主;七竅流血,八方流浪;九死一生,十分像群主!

      3.奶奶:知道爺爺和奶奶結婚多少年了嗎?孫子:40年了。奶奶驚奇地問:群主怎么知道?孫子:我常聽爺爺對群主說:“我忍受這一切,已經忍了40年了。”

      4.地鐵某站進來一胖男生……他剛擠進地鐵就發出“滴滴滴”的關門警告,接著他一下就跳到站臺上去了……看著地鐵門關上,他嘴里抱怨道:暈,不是電梯!

      5.愛群主,一生一世不變;寵群主,時時刻刻不膩;疼群主,分分秒秒不舍;護群主,風風雨雨不棄;一天看不到群主,我連飯都吃不下,因為群主不在,我吃不上炒菜!

      6.怎么回事?剛才撥打群主手機,鈴聲響后提示說:對方正在裸奔,請稍候再撥。真不敢相信!再次撥打又說:對不起,您撥的用戶已奔出服務區,請稍候再撥。

      7.如果群主想,我會含情脈脈看群主直到群主投降;如果群主愿,我會深情款款對群主訴說直到群主變成綿羊;如果群主敢,我會千里迢迢趕來為群主捧場,群主敢承認自己是驢嗎?

      8.笑話一則:恭喜群主已被青蛙大學,癩蛤蟆系,不要臉班錄取,請攜帶精神病證明,坐250號公車到傻瓜路,缺心眼街下車!報名時請站在校門口傻笑!

      9.我愿群主是一匹黑馬,能在人群中突圍而出;愿群主是一匹老馬,在成功的道路上老馬識途;愿群主是一匹千里馬,然后,我就…過節騎群主回家!

      10.據說99%的人不知道的知識:用雙手抓住耳朵往下拉…就伸不出舌頭了…我也是今天和同事吃完飯在湖邊散步聊天時才知道,原來還真有這怪事…大千世界,真的是無奇不有啊~~

      11.我們好久不見了,趁我今天有空請群主吃個飯吧,我就在群主家附近的那家銀行里等群主,群主快點過來,如果群主進銀行看不到我的話群主就大聲說“打劫”,明白了嗎?

      12.別把群主那帥氣的臉湊的那么近,小心我這副尊容影響了群主的食欲;飯菜很好,希望群主吃飯時不要那么文明;我最大的愿望是群主年底過磅時能有個好價錢。

      13.認識群主至今,群主在我心中的地位,群主應該很清楚,除了群主之外,其他人在我眼中根本是一堆屎,可是群主不一樣,因為群主……是兩堆。

      14.送群主一朵玫瑰,祝群主愛情甜蜜;送群主一朵康乃馨,祝群主身體永健康;送群主一朵百合,祝群主心想事成;送群主所有幸福之花,愿花的芬芳能引來…蜜蜂蟄群主!

      15.愛群主的癡迷,想群主想的發燒,看見群主面紅心跳,止不住魂牽夢繞,請不要逃跑,我多想將群主擁抱!啊!鈔票,開個玩笑千萬不要計較!

      16.愛群主,一生一世不變;寵群主,時時刻刻不膩;疼群主,分分秒秒不舍;護群主,風風雨雨不棄;一天看不到群主,我連飯都吃不下,因為群主不在,我吃不上炒菜!

      17.群主的名字寫滿在我心里.....就讓我永遠愛群主吧!

      18.多日不見,心中甚是想念,故發來短信問候,以一解思念之情,群主收到后不請我吃飯就是小氣,群主不理睬我,那我就是天津有名的狗不理包子!哼,群主看著辦!

      19.祝群主做個快樂店小二:沒事看看二人轉,幸福梅花二度開,聆聽美好二重奏,發了工資拿雙份,不用做事兩頭閑,出門瀟灑走兩步,人人都說,群主很二!

      20.小偷第二次來商店偷東西時被警察抓住了。警察問:“群主難道不知道要被抓住嗎?”小偷說:“我知道上面寫著‘歡迎再來’。”

      惡搞群主的常見順口溜

      1.收到我的短信,群主將從妻管嚴的深淵里拯救出來,老婆要群主穿的花花綠綠,群主可以就穿襯衫,男人,簡單就好,要群主跪搓衣板群主也可以不跪了,我的地盤我做主。

      2.記者采訪一位百歲老人,問到:您老作為一位百歲老人,請問您現在感到最高興的事情是什么?老人想了想說:沒有同齡人帶來的就業壓力!

      3.當我累了,我可以依偎在群主的懷里;受傷害了,可以趴在群主的肩頭哭泣。從我出生的那一刻,我就深深地愛上了群主,再也不能和群主分離,啊,我親愛的床!

      4.秋風打著旋在九月九的天空盤旋,群主搖晃著腦袋在九月九的涼爽下看著天。雨絲密密的下著。我就站在群主身后竊笑著。還看啥?快把群主的祝福給我。笨蛋!

      5.認識群主至今,群主在我心中的地位,群主應該很清楚,除了群主之外,其他人在我眼中根本是一堆屎,可是群主不一樣,因為群主……是兩堆。

      6.月亮不會懼怕夜的黑暗而退縮,太陽不會畏怯世界的冷漠而隱藏,河流不會因為山的無動于衷而停止流動,猩猩不會因為笨而放棄…看短信!

      7.金錢是一種有用的東西,但是只有在群主覺得知足的時候,它才會帶給群主快樂。所以群主應該多余的錢交給我:別動,打劫!

      8.我赤裸著躺在床上,任群主的唇在我的唇間和身體上游走。輕輕地,柔柔地,撩撥著我最心底的欲望。我壓抑著,堅持著,終于在最后一刻爆發:該死的蚊子!

      9.通常在讀短信的有兩種人,一種是男人,一種是女人。恭喜群主在非通常情況下讀到了這條經過特殊處理的短信,群主的智商終于介于男人加女人除以二的基礎上了。

      10.阿呆兒子剛出生的那天,護士把兒子從產房抱出來。初為人父的阿呆那叫一個激動啊,急忙接過兒子,嘴里習慣性說著:來,叔叔抱一下……

      11.炒菜的,叫伙夫;養馬的,叫馬夫;種地的,叫農夫;賣肉的,叫屠夫;習武的,叫武夫;開車的,叫車夫;我是管賬的,群主叫我啥自己看著辦吧!

      12.昨天好不容易問同學要了“瘦瘦”(群主懂得)的種子,用老爸電腦興沖沖的下好,然后一個對話框彈出來“該文件已存在,是否替代原文件?”,頓時石化了……

      13.我很佩服群主的執著,明知道我不喜歡群主,群主還是不放棄追求我,昨晚群主又對我唱歌還偷吻我,面對群主這樣的厚愛,我只能說:我發誓,我恨群主一萬年!死蚊子!

      14.說時遲,那時快,只見我拇指一動,一條短信以超越小李飛刀一萬倍的速度飛向群主的手機,呈現在群主的面前,群主立刻多云轉晴,滿面笑容!

      15.說愛群主一萬年,太夸張不真實,但愛群主一輩子是我今生的追求;和群主相守到地老天荒,太奢侈不敢想,但和群主相守到老是我的愿望,我愛群主,人民幣!

      16.聽說群主發財了,還還了所有的外債,那么在小學時候借我的半塊橡皮也該還我了吧,加上這么多年的利息群主應該還我個輪胎。

      17.據美國麻省理工大研究發現,打手機前把手機在水中泡1分鐘,可完全避免電磁波對人體大腦的輻射,切記!

      18.川流不息的人游蕩在街頭,誰能聽見誰的寂寞。找一個人惺惺相惜,找一顆心心心相印,在這個宇宙群主是獨一無二,沒人能取代,沒有群主世界將變黑暗,路燈!

      19.群主的優點沒法數,會唱歌還懂跳舞,生活優越很富足,又高又帥無數少女被群主的魅力迷住,令人拍案叫絕的是,二十出頭,至今群主還會…尿褲。

      20.胖媽辦會員卡時,說:我現在29歲零幾個月了……工作人員看了看,懷疑的說:零幾個月了?胖媽糾結了半天,說:零66個月了……

      點擊下頁查看更多惡搞群主的經典順口溜相關內容

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